Post 3: Father's Day Is Coming...

Okay I'm just going to start out by telling you why I despise father's day...

I don't have a father.

Well okay technically everyone has a father but mine does not exist in my life, there for I shall treat him as a past tense although he is still very much alive.

J; My birth father, ditched out when I was 3, makes horrible promises he can't keep, oh and did I mention he used to physically abuse my mother? Well he did. And he hasn't paid child support since the day he skipped out of town.

D; Second father, raised from when I was 3 until now...too bad he is no longer legally anything in my life anymore since January. It took him ten years until he actually started showing affection towards me. He too, just like J, makes promises he doesn't want to nor has to keep. The last day he lived in my home he told me I would always be his daughter...yeah right. He also told me not to bother showing my face at his mother's Thanksgiving party.

P; My newes daddy and I must say although he's been in my life for only 9 months, he's the only real father I've had in my life besides my grandfather. I remember the first time I saw him, my mom was late to my volleyball tournament and when she did finally show her face, he came along. "Oh he just wants to see you play!" Oh really mother? What grown man would take time out of his day to watch a highschool volleyball game unless he was getting laid. I was beyond pissed. No words could describe my feelings. But what can I say? He grew on me. We are so alike it's scary and he gives me anything my little heart desires. He kisses me on the forehead every morning while I'm asleep and he's leaving for work, hell he even says "I Love You" over the phone, I didn't even start telling my own mother that until I was atleast 13.




But anyways, enough about my past. The truth is, I've never liked father's day because I never saw myself having a father which sucks because when you go to friend's houses and their father does those little "daddy and daughter" things, you feel isolated, or as if you were missing out on something, because you yourself have never felt those feelings before.

So this father's day I want you to do something alright?

If you have a father, tell the man you love him, for I will never tell my father that.

If you don't, remember your not the only one going through the problem if you have a step dad you hate, things will I get better I promise, D I hated for most of the time he was in my life and I figured he'd never leave but what do you know? Fate steps in. If you have a setp father you adore, feel thankful. And if you have no father figure in your life, I'm so very sorry because I know what it feels like, and the feeling fucking sucks. But do remember you'll always have the woman that also 50% brought you into this world.



Much Love & Have A Safe Father's day,
Smalltowngirl♥